Of Flyboys, Figments and Fears
by Darkwing333
Summary: Elizabeth's sick and she doesn't want anyone to know. But that's not all, who is the voice she keeps hearing and why is it haunting her. LizJohn Fic.
1. The Persistence of One Particular Flyboy

**Disclaimer:** Nope, don't own it.

**Author's Note: **This is my first Stargate Atlantis story... so nice doggy! lol. But please, do be kind. And don't forget to review.

**

* * *

**

**Of Flyboys, Figments and Fears**

**Chapter One: The Persistence of One Particular Flyboy**

'Okay,' she said to herself as she walked down the abandoned corridor shaking her hands nervously, 'Time to snap out of it!'

Elizabeth had woken up feeling disoriented and slightly claustrophobic; everything had felt like it was closing in on her, like there was a hot hand squeezing the air out of her lungs. She had felt so disconcerted that she had barely managed to open the door before walking though it, and hadn't even bothered to turn off her alarm clock which had been going off for half and hour before she had decided to wake up.

Not that there had been and "deciding" about it, her ears had protested at the noise, magnifying everything threefold.

Feeling the need to walk off the common Rodney-like-complaint and compose herself, she moved quickly out of her quarters leaving behind a pile of papers and left on computers screens on her bed where she had been working before she had fallen asleep.

Checking her watch she noted that she had been asleep for quite a while, it was 0630. Her brain was still so foggy from the sleep that she desperately tried to wipe away; she could barely string two coherent words together to form a sentence.

'Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wakie upie Lizzie…' She tried to coax herself into the land of the living… or at least the clear headed.

There was so much to do to get ready for the day. Elizabeth had been trying to finish her report to the SGC that was going to be sent before the day was up, but she had fallen asleep before she could even begin. Now she had to try and finish it before the briefing at 0800. She had so much to do, so little time…

'And apparently no brain to do it with either.' Her inner self laughed.

'Oh shut up', she told the little voice in her head, frowning as she walked right by the transporter bay, turned around and went to it. 'Was the transporter always in this place?'

'List of things to do: 1. Go to office and check on the early morning shift, 2. Get coffee, 3. Finish writing SGC report, 4. Get more coffee, 5. Go to quarters and take a quick shower and get changed, 6. Finish preparing notes for briefing and city wide announcements, 7. Get just a little more coffee.'

With the growing list inside her head she tried to quicken her pace but her legs protested, refusing to go any faster but instead decided they wanted to be sluggish, completely of there own accord of course.

'What is wrong with me? Stupid legs! It's not like this is a strenuous walk or anything. I work out!' Just because she didn't go off world all the time didn't mean she was out of shape. This was just ridiculous!

Exiting the hallway she started for the stairs leading to the gate control room, passing by the Stargate.

'Wow, was the Stargate always that big?'

Note: To self, get measurements of the gate.

'Crap!' Elizabeth stumbled over the bottom step and hit the wall with a 'THUD'. Righting herself she looked around quickly hoping no one had noticed. Luckily no one had, going more slowly this time she reached the top of the stairs and was about to turn into the control room when she heard several irritated voices coming from inside.

'Great, just what I need.' The voice in her head commented sarcastically.

'Oh be quiet.' She shot back. 'I'm the expedition's leader. _That's_ what I'm here for.'

'You're a babysitter?' The voice replied scornfully.

'NO!' Elizabeth couldn't believe this. She was _arguing_ with herself. 'I am a leader who organizes and maintains… Oh forget this. I refuse to argue with myself any longer.' Elizabeth tried to regain her composure.

"Morning Dr. Weir." A new officer brushed by her on his way out.

"Morning…" she mumbled trying to remember his name, but he was already gone.

'This is not like you Liz. You NEVER forget _names_. What gives?' Slowly she was starting to question herself. First, she rarely fell asleep working, let alone have a nightmare free night AND not wake up to her alarm clock. Second she never forgot names, in fact when she was six some teacher had diagnosed her with a photographic memory. Although she really didn't know how qualified the teacher had been to diagnose that. Either way she had a really good memory. So why was she so groggy today?

An annoyed voice roused her from her tangled mess of thoughts, "Elizabeth how nice of you to join us." Rodney said cheekily, "seems we," Rodney glared at Kavanaugh hatefully, "have a bit of a _disagreement_."

At this point Kavanaugh decided to butt in, "Well, _of course_, she's going to take your side. The all high and mighty McKay can never do wrong!" Kavanaugh's mouth twisted into a malicious grin.

"You know Dr. Weir," Kavanaugh leered, "I _have_ reported your performance as leader of this expedition to the people who are really in_ charge_. Your careless thought to the lives of the people of this expedition is appalling, your disorderly chaotic leadership which on a routine basis bring _unnecessary_ danger to the very doorstep of Atlantis, and your misguided foolish decisions which jeopardize not only your life and the lives of the off world teams, but the lives of the innocent scientists like myself who have no means of protecting ourselves from _your _ignorant behavior…"

"That's only because you thought it would be to 'messy' if you went to the firearms and defense training John set up for all the civilians." Rodney shot back. Who did this guy think he was?

Taking a breath Kavanaugh went on before Elizabeth could get a word in edgewise. To tired to argue she just stood there waiting for his spiel to be over.

"…Sooner or later you indecent conduct will catch up with you and there _will_ be consequences, Dr. Weir, I assure you there will be!" Kavanaugh sighed dramatically, "But now all I can do is report your horrendous actions and honestly and objectively report to the SGC as is my duty as a faithful citizen of the United Stated of America!"

Rodney snorted loudly, eliciting a dirty look from Kavanaugh.

"Not to mention the continuously condescending attitude from the heads of departments which I am also reporting to Stargate Command headquarters back on earth where immediate action is bound to happen any day… and _you_ Dr. Weir," He pointed a manicured finger and Elizabeth, " will most be likely be replaced by a more _capable_, unbiased and qualified expedition leader."

"Are you finished?" Elizabeth replied more warily than she had meant too. "If you are, I would really like to get some aspirin before my headache gets any worse."

Turning to Rodney she pointedly ignored Kavanaugh as he immediately started to scrawl something on a notepad that had been tucked in his shirt pocket, "Do what ever you need to do to solve the problem," Rodney's eyes went wide, "I leave this matter in your capable hands."

'What the hell am I talking about he'll probably shoot, blow up, stun, electrocute or…'

Rodney rubbed his hands together an evil grin growing on his face.

'…What monster have I created?' Elizabeth rubbed her face seeing Rodney become suddenly all too happy.

As Elizabeth entered her office, she vaguely heard Kavanaugh call after her, "This is all being documented…"

His words faded out and her vision began to blur slightly. Reaching out for the door frame, she felt its coolness, 'No, no, no, no, no! You are fine, you have to be fine …just need that coffee.'

Taking a deep breath, trying to steady herself she realized that Rodney was standing beside her, his hand on her arm, "Elizabeth? Elizabeth, uh, Elizabeth, are you alright? You don't look so good. Maybe I should get Carson." He started to turn away.

"No!" Elizabeth all but shouted, panicked. All she need was Carson on her back telling her to get more rest, or heaven forbid ordering her some downtime! No, _that_ could not happen. "I'm fine." Rodney looked at her skeptically, "I just need something for this headache and… and some coffee and I be right as rain."

'Right as rain? Where the hell did that come from?'

Rodney still looked unsure. "Well if you're sure…" He looked around anxiously, as if he would find the answer written on the wall or on a bright neon sign telling him what he should do. "Uh… Ah! I'll get someone to send up some coffee." He suddenly brightened as if the drink which, no doubt, was a food group in itself to Rodney, would make everything all better.

Rodney left and her hand shook as she closed the glass door. Finally sitting down she realized how much the short walk and the _ass_ Kavanaugh had taken out of her. She was sweaty and her legs were shaking as she sat down. Once more she cursed herself. She was probably getting sick.

'Just a little illness, Atlantis-style. I'll be fine.'

After a few minutes of sitting in her chair staring blankly at the wall she remembered why she was here in the first place. Turning on her computer, she opened her 'report to the SGC' which currently contained less than one sentence…

'I, doctor Elizabeth Weir,' she read.

…her thoughts dried up like water in the middle of the desert. 'Let's try that again, more this time, shall we.' She poised her hands on top of the keyboard trying to summon some fake enthusiasm.

…Not that it worked.

Okay! This was ridiculous. WHERE was the coffee, Rodney _promised_, promised there would be coffee? She whined to herself.

But getting annoyed at Rodney was just a distraction from her real problems. This couldn't be happening. 'You are the one who nags other people to finish there reports. Not be the one who needs to be nagged.' The voice in her head rose to an unnaturally high pitch before it died in a defeated wail.

Elizabeth's eyes closed against her will and she rested her head in her hands, feeling the cool skin against her forehead. 'That feels good.' She sighed.

'I'll just close my eyes for a few minutes…'

SGA SGA SGA SGA

"Hey, 'Lizbeth… Liz… Liiiiiiiz..." Elizabeth heard a persistent voice interrupt her deep sleep. 'How annoying.'

"Liz, time to wake up." John grinned, he was having fun. Quite suddenly his grin became wider and he looked disturbingly like a school boy who had just come up with some evil plan to skip class and not get caught. "Liz, it's time to go to school." John had to hold back his snigger.

At this Elizabeth responded. "Go 'way…" She mumbled sleepily, "Five more minutes…"

"Elizabeth?" She heard laughter. 'Was that… John? DAMN!' And he was laughing. Suddenly her brain started functioning. Prying an eye open, blinding light assaulted her and she clamped them shut and turned away.

"Hey, Sleepyhead," She could practically hear the smirk on his face. Opening her eyes once more, she confirmed the grin she knew John would have on his face. "Have a good rest?" John looked around skeptically at the keyboard pillow and the computer screen with one sentence written on it. "Looks like you were working _really_ hard." He sat on the edge of her desk, his eyes twinkling.

Sitting up she glared at him. "Ha, ha, so funny," She brushed her hair out of her face, "What time is it?

"Doesn't really matter," He replied lazily, "now."

Suddenly Elizabeth's eyes narrowed and something seemed to click. "What_ time_ is it, John?" She all but demanded of him but it probably didn't sound so convincing since her voice was doing a high-pitched-frantic-sound.

"Hmmm…" John truly resembled the Cheshire cat.

"John!"

"Fine, fine, don't go having a heart attack on me though." His look clearly told her to stay-calm. 'Oh this is bad. Bad, bad, bad, _bad, _BAD! Nothing good ever came when John gave her _that_ look.

"Don't say I didn't warn you…" Elizabeth gave him another look, and he finally relented his teasing, "O930." John finally answered, trying to keep his voice nonchalant.

"WHAT?" Elizabeth nearly leaped out of her chair smashing her hip painfully on the corner of her desk, but she didn't even seem to notice. 'Oh this is great, just _great_. Caldwell is going to have my HEAD for this. How late am I? Oh, uhh, umm… right about… MATH! Yuck I never liked math. Errr, failed math actually. Right woke up at 0630… got to office at about 0640… promptly fell asleep… _stupid!_... it's now 0930. So that makes it…'

"You've been asleep for nearly 3 hours Elizabeth." John answered calmly.

'Crap, I was thinking out loud.' Elizabeth cursed herself.

"Actually, you still are…" John was starting to look at her funny. "Are you-"

Unexpectedly, Elizabeth dashed out of her office, through the control room and into the hall leaving a very confused John trailing in her wake.

Vaguely she heard John calling her name, but kept on going at top speed. How could she have let this happen? This was _terrible_! And if Carson heard of it he was bound to be hounding he like a dog after a bone. She _couldn't_ let that happen. She _had_ to get things back to normal.

"Elizabeth!" Finally John had caught up with her. "What are you doing?" He looked truly confused.

When she didn't respond he grabbed her arm forcing her to slow down. "John," She tugged at her arm, annoyed, "I have to take a shower and get changed and prepare my notes, get the meeting rescheduled and…"

"Elizabeth!" John interrupted loudly, "Caldwell already rescheduled the briefing, it's at 1300."

Elizabeth's eyes turned to slits, and she hissed, "He did what?" 'How dare he do that, that…that egotistical, overbearing, conceited, pompous… JERK!'

"Hey, hey, don't get mad at him. I was the one who convinced him not to wake you." Her expression slowly turned to that of confusion, and John attempted to explain himself. "You looked so peaceful, _and_ we all know you don't get enough sleep." His voice softened a little, "Elizabeth the briefing can wait. Your health is more important."

Abruptly, Elizabeth turned, folding her arms tightly against her chest. "My health is fine." 'Uh-huh, Liz you keep telling him that, maybe one day he'll believe you.'

In fact she knew it was not all fine and dandy. Her head was starting to spin again and she desperately needed to sit down, her headache was back with vengeance and there was a pain radiating through her abdomen that made her clench her teeth together. It was all she could do to smile and not to let John see her pain.

'Yep he's not buying it.' Actually he seemed to be watching her even closer.

While they had been arguing, they had been nearing her quarters. Now standing outside her door she thought it wise to leave before John asked her any more questions.

"John, I'll see you in the briefing later today." She said with as much authority as she could muster. Turning she entered her quarters and activated the doors to closed behind her, the image of John's skeptical expression still on the surface of her mind.

She hadn't fooled him for a second she was suddenly sure.

And she didn't like it. She didn't like one bit!

SGA SGA SGA SGA

* * *

NOTE: If anyone has ideas for upcoming chapters, i would be delighted to hear them. So please reaview and leave a plot bunny for me or just say something silly to let me know you read the story. Thanks! 


	2. The Weird Ways of Dr Weir

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own it. :(

**Author's Note:** REVIEWS NEEDED! If you like this story>>> LET ME KNOW! That way i keep writting! Not that i am being demanding or anything... lol...

Oh and thank you so much to the wonderful people who DID review!

**

* * *

**

**Of Flyboys, Figments and Fears **

**Chapter Two: The Weird Ways of Dr. Weir **

He had first gotten the word from Rodney, while waiting for the briefing to begin, that she was and had been asleep at her desk for the better part of the last few hours.

A crease formed on his forehead as he wondered, 'Liz? Asleep as her desk? That was new.'

At first Caldwell had been irate, he wanted to wake her up and get the meeting on with. _His _schedule couldn't possibly be rearranged, oh no, not Caldwell's, but with John's intervention, and skillful reasoning, 'Right, Johnny boy, you keep telling yourself that', the briefing was postponed until later that day.

People usually thought Elizabeth never got tired. She was seen up at all hours, drinking never-ending amounts of coffee, her eyes never holding dark circles beneath them and she was always neat and professional. 'It's not like she is a robot or anything', but _man_ had the thought, that maybe she took some sort of drugs to help her stay awake did pass through his mind every now and again.

That was when the rumors began and like all rumors they only got worse as the day went on. All John knew was that he wasn't going to be the one to tell her what most of Atlantis was talking about it. 'The Leader of Atlantis found sleeping at her desk… sleeping on the job… missed the briefing… Dr. Weir… can you believe it?' Were some of the snatches of conversation he had caught on his way to her office. 'Don't these people have _anything _better to do?'

When he had gotten to the door of her office, there was a newer member of the Atlantis expedition that had just been shipped over on the Daedalus, who was _actually_ trying to take a picture of her. A PICTURE!

Probably for future blackmail, John couldn't let that happen.

The man still couldn't quit find all the pieces of his camera.

When he went to wake her up, he was surprised to find her in such a deep state of sleep, 'More like a coma!', that it took him a full ten minutes for him to even start to rouse her.

He nudged her, but didn't get any type of response. The thought did cross his mind to just let her sleep, she probably needed it if she was asleep at her desk, but then he thought of that one time he HAD to finish his report for Caldwell the next day. Seeing how tired he was Elizabeth had stepped in and it was fixed so that it could be due later, but foolishly enough he decided to impress her, not to mention he didn't want to get flack from Caldwell about how the expedition Leader _had_ to step up for him, since he wasn't competent enough to get things done on his own.

Not that he minded having Elizabeth help him out; in retrospect he was very grateful for it.

Anyways, it hadn't mattered to Caldwell that they had just had a particularly nasty encounter with the wraith in_ their_ city which ultimately lead the deception that Atlantis had been destroyed.

Caldwell still had demanded the report. 'Ass!' John thought vehemently as he remembered that particular occasion where he and Caldwell had clashed.

Needless to say John had fallen asleep in a similar position and the stiff aches and pains the next day was enough for him to ask Doc Beckett for some painkillers.

His attention had returned to Elizabeth sleeping before him and an evil thought had flitted across his mind encouraging him to get a bucket of cold water, but he squelched that quickly when his common sense kicked in and reminded him that _she _was the one approving his off world missions.

Finally Elizabeth mumbled something about five more minutes that made him snort with laughter and picture her as a teenager reluctant to go to school, curled under a mountain of covers while her mother pulled them off one-by-one trying to stir her seemingly-dead-to-the-word daughter.

"Liz, Liz, Liz…" He chuckled to himself when she had opened an eye, then closing it had turned away from the sunlight streaming in the window of her office.

He swore he heard her curse, and it made his smile just grow larger. "Hey Sleepyhead."

Slowly, 'too slowly he remembered' and it was the first inkling in the back of his mind that warned him that something wasn't right, as she sat up right and tried to neaten her appearance.

He had teased her then, pushing aside the 'prosperous thought'. 'It's not like Liz was sick or anything.'

It's when she asked the time that all hell broke lose. He had tried to delay the inevitable, but alas he had to tell her the time, which meant her figuring out that she had slept through the briefing. Not just through though, WAY through.

First she had mumbled to herself 'thinking out loud' she had said, but _honestly_ it had sounded more like the ravings of a mad man… 'err… women'. He remembered thinking how weird it was that she was finding it so hard to do the simple math. Trying to be helpful John had supplied the answer for her…

Apparently that was the wrong thing to do because the second he opened his mouth and started talking again, she had dashed off.

Quickly he jogged after Elizabeth; she had run out of her office after hearing the time like a horse in a race after the whistle was blown. 'Man! I have to get in better shape if this is the way Elizabeth is when she actually gets some sleep!'

'Maybe she _really_ is on drugs.' The thought made its way into his head again as he passed some people in the control room, he apologized to them for her. There was actually a poor new nerdy looking guy with large glasses who was trying to pick up his papers which had been scattered all over the floor.

'Hurricane Liz strikes again.' John thought as he bent down and quickly shoved a bunch of papers into the scientist's hands before someone stepped on them. "Sorry about that." He gestured to Elizabeth who was walking at super speed up ahead. "Gotta go." He clapped the man on the shoulder before he continued to hurry off after Elizabeth.

" Elizabeth!" John was getting really confused. "What are you doing?" He had never seen her act to out of character. It was starting to make him nervous, was she having some sort of mental break down?

As she started listing off all the things she had to do, he started to see the panic in her eyes and he was sure it had nothing to do with the briefing or the fact that he had convinced Caldwell to postpone the briefing until later. Something was up with Liz, and "My health is fine." Just didn't cut it.

Now that he looked closer, she was flushed and her eyes appeared slightly out of focus. She was hugging herself close and he was sure he saw a flash of pain before she rushed into her quarters with an abrupt, "John, I'll see you in the briefing later today." With a soft 'whoosh' the doors closed and John was left standing with a puzzled-but-concerned look on his face.

Whatever she was trying to hide from him, he was going to get to the bottom of it.

He didn't like what he had just witnessed. He didn't like it one bit.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

Slowly walking away from Elizabeth's door, he was left not knowing what to do. Had it been anyone else John would have simply gone to Carson and asked to him give the person a check up. But this was Elizabeth he was talking about; he couldn't just go to Carson and ask him to give Elizabeth a physical.

It was like this, she had trusted him on so many occasions when nobody else had. It felt like a betrayal to just doubt her so easily, just because she had slept in late and was acting a little strange. Hell, he acted strange all the time. Come to think of it, any people back on Earth who hadn't been what he had been through would probably lock him up and throw away the key.

Yes that was it; he would just have to trust that Elizabeth knew what she was doing. She was a smart, capable woman. Unlike him, she would never dream of avoiding Carson when she was ill or hurt. In fact she would probably run to him at the first sign that something was wrong.

'Yep, that was it.' He had nothing to worry about, John concluded as he stepped into the room where he and Telya were scheduled to do some physical training.

But that didn't mean that he wasn't going to keep a very close eye on Elizabeth.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

Elizabeth was taking a very long and very hot shower. The second the door had closed behind her she had, had to sit down on the floor quickly to stop herself from passing out. The world had spun crazily and she saw spots dancing before her eyes as a just-plain-_lovely_ sick feeling rose in her stomach. She had sat with her knees pulled up to her chest for quite a while before she had somehow found the strength to pull herself up off the floor and into the bathroom to take a shower.

As she peeled off her clothes, she started to shiver as the cool air in the room hit her bare skin. Her rational mind told her that she needed lots of rest, relaxation and… chicken soup?

But… On the other hand 'Caldwell' had popped into her mind and she cringed, just thinking of all the ways he would try to take over her position and duties if she was sick, even for a little while, terrified her.

Actually at the moment, everything terrified her.

Somewhere along the way she started hearing things. At first it was just creeks and groans of the building around her and the pipes which were pumping out the water, which she turned hotter for the umpteenth time.

Finally Elizabeth decided that she had probably better get out of the shower. The pounding hot wetness on her skin was starting to make her feel drowsy… well drowsy-er, although it had helped the pain in her abdomen and back which was now a constant.

As she climbed out of the shower, her legs shook. Trying to ignore the feeling of weakness she proceeded to dry herself off and get dressed. As she was pulling on her pants she noticed a large purplish bruise appearing on her hip. With no recollection of how she got this, a feeling of unease came over her; in fact the whole morning was becoming hazier and hazier in her memory.

Elizabeth finished getting dressed; reaching into the medicine cabinet she found just what she as looking for. Extra Strength Tylenol, 'Yes, this will do.' And she popped two into her mouth, swallowing them dry.

'Ring 'round the rosie… pocket full of posie!' A little child's voice sang gleefully.

Startled Elizabeth's head jerked up. Looking around furtively a few time, the bottle of Tylenol still in her hands. She looked down at it quickly. "What is in these?" She questioned.

Shaking her head, Elizabeth finished combing her hair and put on a tad bit of make-up to cover the tired look in her face. All in all she thought she did a fairly good job. 'Dream on…' The voice nagged, 'You'll never fool anyone.'

Elizabeth shook her head at the voice, 'How annoying'.

'Yes, very annoying aren't I? Ha ha ha. Let's play a game, Knock, knock.'

'I don't want to play.'

'Yes you _do_! …Now answer the question!' The voice yelled. It was so loud that it actually physically hurt to hear it.

"Owww." Elizabeth cried out. "Stop it."

'Then answer!' The Voice thundered. 'Knock knock…. Knock knock…. Knock knock…'

A knock came at the door, and Elizabeth gasped as if she had been hit. 'How?'

'Oh never mind, it's not like the Voice had actually made the door really knock, but for a split second it had seemed that way. A jolt of worry went through her anyways. What if John had called Carson to check up on her? She thought, but then discarded the thought, 'No, John wouldn't do that.'

'Well, of course he would.' The voice drawled, 'John wouldn't think twice about turning you into the chief medical officer. In fact I think he would enjoy doing it.'

'_No_ he wouldn't.' Elizabeth replied, but a seed of doubt had already been planted.

'Are you so _sure_? How well do you_ really_ know our resident flyboy?' The voice dripped with malice, 'You've known him for how many years now? And you know nothing of his past.'

'That doesn't mean anything. He hardly knows anything about my past, doesn't mean I'm untrustworthy… I bet it was _Rodney_!'

Elizabeth had ignored the first knock on the door, hoping against hope that maybe whoever it was was, would just go away, but when the second knock came a moment later she frantically spun in circles trying to find another way out. Of course there was none.

'Liz, you should know better than that. There's no other way out. You're TRAPPED! Muhahahahhhaaaa!' The voice in her head harassed.

'You just go away.' Elizabeth thought back. 'I don't need to have another argument with myself. It's not normal.'

'Ha! That's just rich coming from you. Tell me this, why _are_ you avoiding Carson?'

'I'm no-' she started to respond, but a loud voice called her name through the door and someone pounded on it heavily. 'Damn!'

"Coming," She finally called, before opening the door. 'I am SO going to _kill_ Rodney.'

" Caldwell?" She voiced her surprise.

"Dr. Weir." He replied politely. Elizabeth just continued to look at him confused, what was _he_ doing here? 'Great! Just what I need… _Caldwell_ to brighten my day.' She bit her tongue to stop herself from grimacing at the sight of him and forced a smile.

"Is there something you need?" Elizabeth's voice came out more impatient than she had been intending, and quickly covered it up with a, "Let's walk."

SGA SGA SGA SGA

'Here I am pounding on a door… again! How come women always make me do this?' Caldwell impatiently looked at his watch.

"Dr. Weir!" 'Women are so infuriating. Doesn't even matter what galaxy we are in. They are all the same!' Letting out a frustrated sigh, he heard a voice call from inside saying they were coming, 'Well, it's was about time!'

As the door opened, Elizabeth seemed surprised to see him. "Colonel Caldwell?"

'Well, duh, who else did she think was standing before her? Okay let's keep the niceties goes… "Dr. Weir." He responded as politely as he could summon on such short notice.

"Is there something you need?" Elizabeth sounded impatient, 'Impatient, can you imagine that! _Dr. Weir_, the one who had missed the very important briefing this morning because she had been _sleeping_. It was ridiculous, that he even THINK of trying to continue being nice to this little…'

"Let's walk." 'Great, NOW she decides to be all polite. Well, it is a little bit too late, missy. I am _not_ the least bit fooled by you and your fake sincerities and your oh-so-politically-correct mannerisms. No, no I am not!' 

He had to be tactful with her, she was a sly one. "You missed the briefing this morning." They continued to walk down the hall.

"Yes, I_ am_ sorry about that."

"The briefing is rescheduled for 1300. I wanted to come down and _personally_ tell you." He faked a smile.

"Of course, that is very responsible of you." She replied. In his mind she seemed slightly distracted. 'How come women can't ever pay attention when it really counts?' He thought.

Caldwell started to ask a question, "So, What…"

Elizabeth looked distracted suddenly, not hearing Caldwell's question and stopped walking.

"Dr. Weir?" Caldwell prompted her. "Is there something wrong?" He was proud of the way he laced his voice with a nice touch of concern. It sounded very sincere. 'Geez, how come I always get stuck with the blonds. Yes, I know she isn't really blond, but at the moment she might as well be.'

"What? Oh, Uh, no. Sorry, what were you saying?"

This was so annoying; Caldwell had to remind himself to unclench his fists. "I was asking, what you wanted to talk about at the briefing?"

Elizabeth continued to look at him blankly.

Boredom suddenly entered his voice and he felt like he was teaching a five-year-old algebra, "You said you had something important to talk to me about."

Elizabeth looked around, "I uh," She started to walk away from him. "I'll talk to you about it later." She quickly walked around the corner. 'Women,' He would never understand them, let alone _like _them. How dare she just walk away from him like that! He was supposed to be the next military commanding officer. She should show him some respect!'

Intending to give her an earful, he rounded the corner expecting to see her there. Instead he saw the transporter bay doors close with Elizabeth undoubtedly inside. It was futile he knew, but someday, 'Someday, she will pay for taking that position away from me!'

SGA SGA SGA SGA

* * *

NOTE: **REVIEW! **Please? Oh and if anyone has any ideas they want to throw my way, then please do. I am very open minded. NOW _push_ the purple button. Thanks! 


	3. Maniacal Meetings of the Mysterious Kind

**Disclaimer**: And yet again, I don't own it.

**Author's Note:** Just a quick thank you to all the people who took the time to review and let me know i should keep on writting this story. And a special thanks to Stargatecrazy who stuck some plot bunnies on me... runs away from a pack of colorful bunnies chasing her Ahhhh!

Oh and sorry this chapter is shorter than the rest, but it just seemed like a good place to stop. Please don't kill me. puppy dog eyes

**

* * *

**

**Of Flyboys, Figments and Fears**

**Chapter Three: Maniacal Meetings of the Mysterious Kind**

'Ring 'round the rosie… pocket full of posie!'

Elizabeth was just stepping out of the transporter when she heard the eerie words echoing down the corridor. Her heart clenched tightly in her chest and tears sprung into her eyes. "Why am I hearing these things?" She whispered to herself heartbreakingly.

'Ashes… ashes… we all fall down.'

As the next line was being sung in an eerily familiar voice, Elizabeth dashed around the corner, following the echoing voice in blind panic. 'This can't be happening.' Her chest constricted as she tried to repress the tears.

'But I didn't get back up again, did I?'

"What?" Elizabeth voice came out cracked.

'I said 'I didn't get back up again, did I?' You were supposed to protect me, but you_ didn't_. You were _supposed _to protect me!" The child's voice was becoming more accusing.

"No!"

'No, what?' The child's voice asked. 'You can't take the truth?'

"I know the truth."

'I didn't get up again and it's all you FAULT.' The voice challenged.

'Your fault!'

'YOUR fault.'

'YOUR FAULT.' The child's voice chanted.

"No, no _no_! …Stop THIS!" Bending over suddenly Elizabeth clutched her head, covering her ears, trying hopelessly to stop the voice from saying any more. She couldn't take this. This could NOT be happening.

'But it is your fault.' The child's voice had once again grown softer and it almost sounded innocent.

As sob escaped Elizabeth and she knelt on the hard floor defeated. "That's not true…" She whispered to the child-like voice. "I tried-"

'Well you _couldn't_ have tried very hard, now could you…? I am DEAD after all.' The sweet child-like voice was suddenly sounded more sinister.

"_No._" She choked out, "There was nothing I could have done. The paramedics said so…" Elizabeth carelessly tried to wipe the tears from her face.

'And _you_ believed them?' The voice scoffed. It no longer sounded like a child at all. '_You're_ more pathetic then I thought.'

The tears were rolling down Elizabeth's face freely now, "Is that what you really think?

The voice didn't answer. Elizabeth's heart sunk further in chest as she relived the conversation, 'How could she blame me?' Sitting in the silence everything seemed to be ten-fold worse. All the misery of _those_ days that she had been so sure were far behind her was resurfacing. She couldn't think of that, _that_ thing that had happened. She _couldn't_…

Suddenly the silence was interrupted, "ELIZABETH?" A worried voice called loudly from around the corner.

With her heart hammering in her chest, she jumped up, startled.

"Elizabeth? Is that you, love? I thought I heard you…" The voice was coming nearer.

It was Carson; Elizabeth swore under her breath in four different languages before she decided to avoid him altogether. His questions would be to invasive. Besides that, he was a much better observer than Rodney, John or Caldwell… 'that Ass!'

Hurrying around the next bend in the hall, she quickly ran down a few hallways until she was sure she had lost him and could no longer hear his voice.

'_Great_! Now Beckett's onto you. You're not very stealth are you?' The Voice sneered.

Elizabeth had decided that The Voice could go to hell. Or at least she was going to ignore it until the briefing was over and done with. It's not like she could be seen talking to herself, now could she.

The Tylenol must have been kicking in because she was starting to feel less light headed and not so shaky. Deciding that some food might do her good she headed to the commissary.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

"Hey, now! No need to get nasty." John put his hands up defensively in front of himself.

"I was just _saying_ that you weren't being very tactful."

"Wow, I didn't know _tactful_ was even in your vocabulary McKay, maybe you should try it sometime, yourself." John drawled back. He loved winding Rodney up. It was like… television! "You tend to piss the natives on a planet off more than I ever _could_." He added for good measure.

"Yes, yes, and that was very typical of you Sheppard." Rodney rolled his eyes and put another large spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth. "I fink your woozing your tooch." He mumbled between chewing.

John stared at Rodney in disgust, "Didn't your mother _ever_ teach you table manners? You're almost as bad as Ronan." 'Well… not quite, but ewwww…'

"No-" Rodney opened his mouth to reply when something behind John caught his attention. He snapped his mouth shut.

"Rodney… hello…" John waved his hand in front of Rodney's face. "You were about to insult me. Remember?"

Rodney pulled his gaze from the figure and glared at John loathingly.

"Aw, come on, you can do better than _that_." John whined childishly. "I had a really good come-back."

Finally, John gave up, turning in his seat to see what Rodney was staring at. Giving a surprised chuckle, John turned back around, "I didn't know you fancied the lovely Doctor. I thought that was just _Zelenka_." John put emphasis on the last word, knowing it would get to Rodney like nothing else.

At this remark Rodney's face flushed, whether it be from anger or embarrassment it was unclear, since Rodney suddenly would not talk to John. 'Go figure… just _has_ to ruin my fun, doesn't he.' John stamped his food under the table in impatience.

After several minutes of silence, Rodney finally stopped his silent treatment of John. "I was just worried, that's all."

"OH! He _speaks_." John rejoiced, loud enough for the table next to theirs to turn and look at them in curiosity.

Rodney rolled his eyes at John, and John's face suddenly became confused, "What on earth are you worried about?"

Rodney opened his mouth to speak, but John had jumped in before he had a chance to even start. "Oh 'cause if this is about that mission we are supposed to go on, I SWEAR there won't be any kids this time… well maybe I can't really guarantee anything, but…" Sheppard trailed on.

"No, it's not about those…" Rodney shivered, "kids."

"Oh, I get it is this about me sending you into those 'small' caves, because they really aren't _that_ small." John smiled innocently and added; "Besides with your skills and ingenuity you may find something to help save the entire galaxy in there." All he needed to do was bat his eyelashes and if John was a girl, Rodney would have been falling all over himself. Instead…

Rodney looked rather disturbed, "Is there something you want to tell me?" He seemed to be edging further away from John, even though there was already a table between them.

Seeing Rodney's face, John put two and two together and amazingly came up with four. "NO!" John shouted in distress, once again acquiring curious looks from the nearby tables. "I _didn't_ mean it like that!" John's yell lowed to an urgent hushed whisper.

Now it was Rodney's turn to look amused, "So you were just trying to hoodwink the gullible little scientist, were you?" Rodney's face arranged itself for battle…

"… That was actually a pretty good attempt." John's jaw dropped, literally hitting the floor. "Better than earlier, anyways. Thought for a second that you were losing your touch," Happily Rodney smiled a shameless grin knowing that he had gotten the upper hand. "You know, if you would just stop your incessant one-upping, is that some sort of manly thing, I can get back to telling you why I am really worried."

John opened his mouth and Rodney quickly jumped in wagging a finger at him, "What did I just stay Sheppard?" John closed his mouth. "Good boy, now sit!"

Glaring John was not amused by Rodney, but kept his mouth glued shut, because he had a feeling this was about-

"I am worried about Elizabeth." Rodney stated taking the words right out of John's mouth. Rodney's voice lowered and concern _actually_ entered, "She came in this morning acting… different, for lack of a better word. She all but gave me the right to do anything to Kavanaugh I please. And yes, that would normally be a pleasure, as he was undoubtedly being the biggest jack-ass I have _ever_ met, Elizabeth just didn't seem to realize the," a glint of maniacal pleasure was seen in Rodney's eyes that would make any regular person shiver, John just rolled his eyes at his friends immaturity, "_power_ she had just given me. Do you realize she actually said to "Do anything you see fit to solve the problem" or some such thing. Now is that the Elizabeth we all know?" Rodney questioned.

This did puzzle John a fair bit. It was _very_ unlikely that Elizabeth would actually do something that could possible give Kavanaugh more power in the form of accusations or proof to use against her, but the part that really got to him was that, Rodney wouldn't hesitate to actually do something to the other disagreeable/hateful/unpleasant/disturbingly-pleasant-with-Caldwell (take your pick) man. And the fall out would be all on Elizabeth's shoulders.

"You didn't _do_ anything did you?" John asked suspiciously. "So help me, if you have done _anything_ to jeopardize Elizabeth's position in this city…"

"Of _course_ I haven't done anything, Sheppard!" Rodney looked quite offended, "I wouldn't do anything under Elizabeth's orders when she is obviously impaired."

John's head wiped back from where it had been watching Elizabeth carry some coffee and a bagel to a table at the far end of the commissary. "Impaired? You don't mean-"

"Sheppard," His voice got monotone, like anytime he had to explain a really hard concept to a really 'simple-minded' person. "Not impaired in the sense of drugs or alcohol, but she did seem out of it, maybe she is coming down with something." Rodney stuffed that last mouthful of food into his mouth, "She nearly fainted, and then she just brushed me off when I asked if I should get Carson."

John looked expectantly at Rodney, "Did you?"

"_No,_" Rodney looked at John in disbelief, "would you?"

"No." He replied softly.

They both turned and watched Elizabeth as she sat in the corner, the emptiest corner of the commissary John noted, as she stared blankly out the window. Her coffee and bagel barely touched.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

* * *

Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review... la la la, i am singing the review song... lol! 

**A little challange: Who can guess who the 'child's voice' in Elizabeth's head is?**

If anyone has any more ideas for this story, LET ME KNOW! I love ideas! Anything, it is fun to see what you might think could happen.


	4. The Elizabethan Era

**Disclaimer**: As hard as I try, I don't own it.

**Author's Note:** Okay congradulations to Beach chick, Stargatecrazy and BelovedOne. You all mentioned the corrent answer in your review. Although i won't say it here, since all of the rest of readers hadn't figured it out.

flubber: I really liked this idea, and even though that is not how this story is going to go. You did set a plot bunnie off in me for another SGA story. Thx!

Don't forget to READ AND REVIEW!

* * *

**Chapter Four: The Elizabethan Era**

'I think Rodney and John are watching me.' Elizabeth peaks another glance at the leader of the flyboy and her top scientist. They have been talking in furiously hushed tones for the last few minutes since she walked in, shooting sidelong glancing at her every few seconds. 'They think I don't notice, HA! As if the leader, of an expedition to another _galaxy_ wouldn't know how to observe _everything_ without people knowing. They are so naive!'

Now they are getting up from their table… and heading over here. "Damn!" The word came out in a hiss. The looks they were giving her… never a good sign.

'Just let me handle this.' The voice boomed in her head. 'You'll just screw this up too. Then you'll be in the infirmary. The INFIRMERY!'

'I will not! I am a negotiator for crying out loud, I think I can handle John and Rodney.'

"Hey Elizabeth," John and Rodney said in unison before John asked, "This spot taken?"

"OH, Sheppard, just sit down already!" Rodney shoved John over exasperatedly and hunkers down.

'Maybe this is going to be harder than I thought. Okay start with something, neutral…'

"Is there something I can help you with?" Elizabeth asked, her usual line sounding strange to her own ears and she couldn't help but think that maybe John had heard it too. That look he was giving her…

John opened his mouth to speak, but Rodney quickly jumped in, "We just wanted see how you are doing, you know, being the Great Leader of Atlantis and all." Now it was Elizabeth's turn to give Rodney a strange look. "Uh, um, I mean, with all that has happened lately, with the wraith… um," Rodney got nervous, SHIT! He had managed to screw things up yet again.

Giving Rodney a quick jab with his elbow, John jumped in, "What McKay here means to say is we were just worried about you. You work too hard, Liz." His voice softened on the last word. "And with Kavanaugh and Caldwell on your tail night and day, well, that's got to be very stressful… even for you."

'Smooth, John, very smooth.' John gave Rodney a quick wink as Elizabeth stared into her tea and sighed.

'Wait? Rewind! Tea? "Liz…" Something was forming in the back of John's mind a niggling little feeling of apprehension.

Elizabeth was looking at him somewhat expectantly. "What?"

Something in John's voice must have tipped her off because she looked more alert than she had for the entire conversation. "Since when do you drink tea?"

Beside John, Rodney pulled a face, making thoroughly disgusting retching noises. "Tea! Ewwww. Who drinks tea these days? Not Elizabeth. She and I are both very avid and consistently addicted caffeine drinkers. We do NOT drink _tea_."

'Okay. Someone _really_ loved their coffee.' And judging by the continued retching noises Rodney was making a quite evil thought flitted across John's mind. 'Maybe I should tip Heighmeyer off on him.' A gleeful grin overtook John as he started to defend his statement. "Rodney, I wasn't saying that coffee isn't-"A startled look appeared on John's face, "Rodney _what_ are you _doing_?"

Rodney leaned over and grabbed Elizabeth's cup. "See coff-"A look that could only be described as betrayed was seen upon Rodney's face. "This… this is," Rodney's voice lowered to a scandalized whisper. "_tea_."

'Okay, definitely tipping off Heightmeyer.' Carefully taking the mug from Rodney's clenched hands, John replaced it on Elizabeth's side of the table and ignored Rodney. Which was not such an easy thing to do considering he was mumbling incoherently to himself so shocking was the tea revelation. _Whatever_. He'd get over it.

Focusing on Elizabeth who looked quite calm, Uh oh, she had a plan. She was given time to think up one, because of Rodney's foolhardy behavior. 'Why does he always screw up our plans?' John's inner voice whined.

"Elizabeth," John put on his no-nonsense voice he only used for emergencies expecting Elizabeth to put up quite the argument. "I want to know the truth, no buttering it up or avoiding the matter or changing the topic like you so skillfully do at negotiations and stuff. Just tell me-"

"I have cramps."

If John and Rodney's, who had stopped mumbling at that comment, face's had gotten any redder any faster, they would of have to have been having some horrible allergic reaction.

John all of a sudden was at a loss for words examining the table quite intently. As for Rodney he seemed to have stopped breathing all together, sitting still as stone.

Elizabeth took their silence for confusion. "You know the cycle a women goes thr-"

Both John and Rodney jumped up so fast the tea on Elizabeth's side of the table sloshed out wetting everything around it. John pushed Rodney out so fast he tripped and they almost both went down in a tangle of limbs. They were half-way across the cafeteria before John slowed down and half turned, giving an unsure wave and a "see you at the briefing", before pouring on the speed to catch up to Rodney.

They were both around the corner and in a transporter with the doors sliding shut before they let themselves slow down and think.

"S-she..." Rodney stuttered and lapsed into an embarrassed silence.

"I know." John agreed after and few minutes of more awkward silence. They still hadn't gotten out of the transporter, even though they had gotten to there destination just seconds after entering the ancient transportation device.

Simultaneously they both stepped out of the transporter. John and Rodney looked at each other and spoke at the same time,

"Gotta make sure no one has blown up my lab."

"I need to check my notes for the briefing."

Before heading in opposite directions.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

Rodney's whole meltdown over the coffee was pretty funny. Even to Elizabeth who was actually feeling a whole lot better thanks to the three more Extra Strength Tylenol she had taken. It had been priceless, a true Kodak moment when she had told John and Rodney that she had cramps. It wasn't entirely untrue. She _did_ have cramps, they just weren't due to her period.

'Men, they are so gullible.' She gave a quite un-weir-like evil grin. 'Like silly-putty in my hands.'

Walking down the corridor on her way to the briefing, she started to feel as if maybe she had just been over reacting about the whole hearing a "Voice" thing. Maybe her body was just telling her she need more sleep, food and general rest. She was _fine_.

'I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.' Why did she feel then as if she was trying to fool herself?

Stopping just before she entered the briefing room, she took several calming deep breathes. 'I am in charge, I am cool, I am collected.'

'Uh Huh.' A not so far away though responded, 'You just keep telling yourself that, _Liz_.' A violent shiver went through Elizabeth.

"This Tylenol better hold till the briefing is over." And she entered the room.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

The meeting was almost over. It _had_ to be. They had been in this stuffy, hot briefing room for what seemed like hours. First Elizabeth had given her briefing on the missions everyone was assigned to for the week. Answering questions and deigning useless requests, for another excursion to the flower planet, from a new member of Atlantis who was under Heightmeyer's training. He felt that flowers would lighten up the city and help people cope with everyday problems. Yeah and pigs could fly. Apparently Rodney and John felt the same way.

"Yeah, and a few more furry little puppies and pictures of butterflies might help too." Sarcasm laced throughout the entire statement. "Besides, just thinking about them makes me sneeze." Courtesy of Rodney.

"_Flowers_, are you _insane_. Like that is going to help when the wraith have just _sucked_ the life force out of your nearest buddy and are coming for you next." John's voice shot out like a bullet.

Either way, it was a ridiculous request and they didn't have the time or resources to send a team through the gate for… _flowers_. What was Stargate Command thinking when they sent this idiot over on the Daedalus.

That was the most interesting part of the whole briefing. Next Rodney went on some twenty-minute rampage about something or other, she couldn't remember what it was about, nor did she care. At the moment, Caldwell was talking about something to do with new regulations and stuff that could and could not be requested to bring from the SGC. As if any of them even cared.

She was trying really hard to focus. Really she was. It's just that the sun light that was reflecting off the table was very bright. She was getting another headache and the pain in her abdomen had returned. 'Shit.' The Tylenol had worn off.

Slowly the room around her started to spin. Her eyes danced around trying to find a spot to focus on.

"Dr. Weir." Someone called her name.

"Dr. Weir." Caldwell spoke again, his voice hinting his irritation. "Don't you agree?"

'Ooops, she hadn't been paying attention. Frantically she racked her brain about what Caldwell may have been talking about, but drew a blank. "Yes of course."

'Fake it. Yep, that always worked. Not!'

Caldwell, seemingly satisfied, moved on. 'Whew, that was a close one.'

Someone nudged her. "'Lizabeth, are you okay." Elizabeth startled slightly, before regaining her composure and tried to focus on John who was sitting right next to her. "Hey, you don't look so good. Maybe I should-"

"No!" Her hushed voice radiated with urgency.

"Okay, but this conversation isn't over." John seemed to let it go, understanding that anyone, especially Elizabeth, showing weakness in front of Caldwell was a bad idea.

She tried to avoid John's eyes, but every time she looked at him, he was watching her.

Very intently.

'Bad, bad, bad, bad, BAD!'

'Ha, you should have listened to me in the first place.'

Uh oh, the voice was back.

'I told you, you wouldn't fool them. Now look where it has gotten you.'

'I'm not listening to you. You are just some dumb hallucination in my head and I am going to see Carson after this and get him to give me some pills that actually work. I don't know why I was so worried anyways. He is a good guy, and he won't tell Caldwell that I am ill unless some emergency arises. What are the chances of that?'

'Well...' The voice sneered.

'I don't want to hear it.' Elizabeth spoke sternly inside her head. 'This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous. Go AWAY!'

To her surprise, the voice didn't respond. Instead there was just silence, blissful silence.

Turning she saw John looking at her intently still and smiled at him. He looked confused at first before returning her smile.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

John was watching Elizabeth. It wasn't like he never did this before but this time he had a reason. He was watching her because something just wasn't right. Not watching her because she was a beautiful angel sent down from heaven... 'Thank god no one had figured out a way to read my thoughts, yet.'

Elizabeth brushed a trembling hand against her face, wiping away a strand of hair that had gotten stuck to the sweat on her very flushed face. John knew it! He could have kicked himself for all his stupidity. She had fooled him good in the commissary. Using a topic that she _knew_ he would be uncomfortable with to throw him off the scent. He let out an audible sigh which caught Caldwell's attention. Caldwell glared at him, John glared back.

Elizabeth was sick. All the symptoms and reports from Rodney and other people that she wasn't acting like herself today. It all made sense.

Except.

Except, why didn't she just go see Carson. She wasn't like him, always running from the needles and tests. Carson wouldn't dare threaten un-needed vaccinations on Elizabeth; she was after all the head of the Atlantean City. What was she afraid of?

People were starting to stand up. 'Yes! Briefings over!' John couldn't help feeling like a kid being let out of school whenever briefings ended. He waited for most people to leave the room and waited for Elizabeth to rise. Instead she did the last thing he expected her to do.

"John, I think… I'm sick." She looked at him imploringly, as if asking her not to yell at her.

"I know." Was all he said.

"How-"

"I know you, and you just haven't been yourself all day." John's face showed his concern.

"Oh." Elizabeth seemed at a loss for words. "I- I just didn't want Caldwell to find out."

"I figured that was why you got… rid… of us in the commissary."

"Can you take me to the Infirmary?" She said it almost so silently that he would have missed it.

This surprised him; Elizabeth was asking him to help her. Like really _really_ help her. Why didn't she just walk down there herself? She was usually so independent. He got his answer soon after it was asked.

As Elizabeth got up from the table she swayed slightly, her eyes closed and she hugged herself. "Jus' a bit dizzy, that's all." She responded anxiously, looking around after the wave of dizziness past. "I just don't want Caldwell to see me like this."

John reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Don't worry about him, you need to worry about yourself right now."

John walked beside her, inconspicuously holding her up, they got through the control room and into the corridors without incident. They were about to step into the transporter to get the infirmary when all hell broke loose. The transporter and other doors in the hallway slid shut with an ominous shlucking noise, an alarm started to howl before it went off at the same time the lights did.

"Uh oh."

SGA SGA SGA SGA

* * *

Review if you like it and want more:) 


End file.
